Selasa, 05 Januari 2016

SECOND DRAFT

REVISED VERSION PARAGRAPH
SORAYA SAVITRI



Jepen Dance


            Jepen dance is one of the traditional dances of eastern Borneo that is inspired by the Malay culture and Islamic culture. It is a dance that represents the Malay culture is dynamic, attractive, energetic and earthy. Similar to dance in Indonesia such as zapin dance, dance fund, and dance bedana are all derived from the Malay ethnic communities. One that showed the hallmark of Malay seen in cosmetology and fashion. In cosmetology female dancers are generally made minimalist, without losing the distinctive touch wither on the clothing of the dancers. In the show, Jepen Dance consists of 2 types are Jepen Eroh and Dance Dance Jepen genjoh Mahakam. Jepen dance genjoh Mahakam is one type of dance creations gement mostly in the dance movement is indeed purely from dance Jepen. For example, the movement of respect, wave motion, movement half samba, samba full of movement, road Kenyak, taktim Seluang and forth motion. Generally dance genjoh present Mahakam many Malay culture. It is a dance Jepen Jepen Eroh who do not leave their original motions as wide respect, various waves, a variety of samba handkerchief, samba full variety, diversity gengsot, diverse children, and others. Eroh in kutai language means lively or merry. Structuring in this dance full of dynamic movement and filled with depictions of excitement. Well that's all about the art of dance Jepen introduction of eastern Borneo. In conclusion may be useful and increase your knowledge about the traditional arts in Indonesia.

 



Japen                       : Jepen is tradisional dance of eastern Borneo
Dance Jepen genjoh : creations that most of the dance jepen motion in this dance was pure of Dance Jepen.

2 komentar:

  1. Komentar ini telah dihapus oleh pengarang.

    BalasHapus
  2. Your paragraph is not clearly because you explain many topic not only one topic.
    Your topic sentence is correctly
    Your topic is not correctly,because i don’t know explain about Jepen dance or Jepen Eroh. So choose your topic.
    Your controling idea is sufficiently . But i suggest you much change sentence at second sentence be come :It is a dance that represents of the Malay culture. Forexample: zapin dance, dance fund, and dance bedana are all derived from the Malay ethnic communities. One that showed the hallmark of Malay seen in cosmetology and fashion. Forexample in cosmetology female dancers are generally made minimalist, without losing the distinctive touch wither on the clothing of the dancers. If your topic is Jepen dance.
    Your concluding sentence is sufficiently. But i suggest you much change your concluding sentence become: So Jepen dance is very good and very unique tradition of eastern borneo.

    BalasHapus